Tuesday, October 15, 2013

October 15

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month saying, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them." (October15th.com)

Mr. President, I would call them bereaved.  And thank you for the recognition.  

But more than anything I fight to make sure my child is recognized.  As a child.  A baby. A full human being.  It's a shame I have to fight for that understanding in our culture.  

We never held Elijah with our arms, but I held him in my womb.  We never heard Elijah's voice, but we cherished the sound of his heart.  We are separated from him, but not for long.

Sometimes I wish for a picture better than an ultrasound to show people.  They'd see all the body parts formed and fleshy in color.  I think people just imagine blood and tissue when they picture him, and then it's easier to say goodbye, minimize, and forget.  But I know he looked like a very tiny baby.  Because he was.  A sweet, sweet little baby.