Sunday, February 15, 2015

How to Live With the Emotionally Unstable

1. Provide well planned projects, such as this one (though I'm not exactly sure what it is).  They can be simply accomplished by storing numerous unsecured items at low levels.

2. Take art classes as a form of therapy...because actually going to therapy requires too much talking for late night hours like 8:00pm.

3. By the fourth attempt to feed, the EU ("Emotionally Unstable," not to be confused with "European Union") should be very well ready for a more creative factor to his food presentation.  Sandwiches in animal shapes can become very predictable.

4. Connect with your like-mindedness with God and remember that He created man foreknowing he would fall.

5.  Yes, that's a meal time in front of the television.  It became more important that he get some food in him than how exactly that happened. Sometimes when a Nazi knocks on your door and you lie to protect the Jew you're hiding you have some higher moral priorities too, so hush.  Oh and yes - he's eating off the builder grade carpet.  See previous example about lying to a Nazi.

6. Provide plenty of animal experiences for the EU.  For example, catback riding has been shown to greatly aid those dealing with emotional instability.  However, beware there may be some cases in which the rider and the cat don't 'gel.'

7. Find a stable, committed man who can keep a cool head.

8. Ensure the EU has a steady supply of refined sugar.  If you get behind in this area, don't panic.  Do quickly and calmly find the nearest emergency shelter and take cover.  True Paleo living is learning how to flee.

  9. Enjoy the moments of joy that remind you of the fulfillment you had in bringing home the EU from the alien ship that landed in your backyard.  

10. Stay up until wee hours of the night preparing for a special 13.2 seconds of excitement for the EU for a holiday that isn't really supposed to be a big deal, so you think, making it a big deal is extra special so not making it a big deal isn't an option because the EU will take no prisoners!!  I mean takes prisoners!!

11. Admit that you are the EU.  Send the smaller EU to work on a ranch while you begin the recovery process.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Something Rather Than Nothing

Recently in one of my courses I've been leading students through the Craig / Krauss debate entitled "Life, the Universe, and Nothing."  Of course one of the ancient questions of "Why is there something rather than nothing" comes into play at one point as Craig tries to show Krauss that science can't answer that. 

This post will be nothing like that debate.

Nonetheless, while baby boy is getting all the day's cookies hosed off of him allow me to share some things I thought would look like huge accomplishments once posted that are apparently really very normal. I guess the fact that there's something rather than nothing is itself the huge accomplishment.  

I have been watching Pioneer Woman on Netflix and am a tad obsessed.  My mother in law doesn't get it, but that's because she is the real Pioneer Woman.  For those of us who think pizza rolls from the freezer are dinner, it's really fun to watch and start to cook through.  

So, I made her Bowtie Pasta Chicken Alfredo.  I made mine with chicken sausage like my friend does.

Ok awesome.  I made dinner.

Next on the list of exciting:  Valentine's treats for Jonah's little classmates.

I bought these inexpensive bags at Walmart and used a white paint pen to write on them.

I filled them each with one bath time toy.

At first they didn't fit.  I may have gone into a slight panic that I was the worst mom ever.  Then I looked at the chevron and the chalkboard going on and told Pinterest to shove it. 

And that's exactly what I did with the toys and made it work.

I was feeling pretty good until I realized I didn't have enough bathtub toys.  Repeat the worst mom / best mom scenario from above.

I pulled out some unopened door stoppers for the rest of the treats and solved crisis número dos.

It takes a Master's degree, people.

It was a gorgeous day so after I made the week's cookies (I feel insecure if there aren't baked goods in our cake dome), we played and played outside with Jo.

That is, until, I couldn't get him to stop checking the mailboxes and had to haul him, the mail, the keys, my phone, and oh...the most awkward red rider bike / trike / stroller apparatus from around the corner to our house.  It was perhaps the most difficult trip back from a mailbox ever made.

Jonah was kicking and screaming and after all sorts of cajoling, including trying to shed some light on the situation by telling him some people in the world are being persecuted for their faith and we are just trying to get to the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies at home, I gave up.

For some reason (probably the reasons) my efforts didn't work so I had to hoist the not so tiny human up like a firewood log and just trek it out.

Hey.  It's something.  That's better than nothing.  (But not better than just WALKING HOME.)

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Getaway done right

We just had a fabulous staycation in downtown San Antonio.  Allow me to relive before the plumber arrives to gut my kitchen on a mission to find what's leaking (ugh).

We ate at La Frite, my FAVORITE restaurant this side of the pond.  Seriously it's the best. It's a Belgian café with a quirky casual, intimate atmosphere and haute cuisine.  We had time to linger, drink La Fite, eat savory brie and Vol Au Vent de Poulet ended by chocolate mousse...sigh.  I mean does it get any better?

I even tried mushrooms with my vol au vent.  I figured it was only fair if I'm asking Jonah to try new foods.

Then we stayed a hotel downtown - The Pear Tree.  We had our own queen beds and slept with both ears closed.  For me, that meant 11 hours straight.

We do things right.

(Howard doesn't do selfies.  So I just do them for him.)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

From the Twilight Zone

My last post was on January 3, and that feels like it was about 3 days ago.  Luckily I was brought back from the toddler twilight zone into reality from the slight heart attack I had when I thought I'd lost all of my photos tonight.

"No photos" are simply not words to live by.

Sweet boy is sleeping soundly, I'm pretending the Pioneer Woman on my TV is actually here cooking for me, and I am resting in the peace that is knowing I have found my photos.  Life is extra sweet when you have solved a first world problem.

Jonah is 17 months now.  SEVENTEEN.  He weighs 28.2 pounds and though I haven't measured, he's half my height and he's just about outgrown his 2T sized clothes. 

And he is VOCAL.  He has a lot of meaningful gibberish.  Though I'm certainly no expert, I'm pretty sure he speaks Klingon. 

And boy is he busy.  BOY alone describes it.  We have crayon on every surface in our home (including on our skin and clothes), there's rarely toilet paper still on the roll, we are missing several items that used to be on our nightstands (a phone, necklaces, a bookmark), and we pretty much run around meeting demands and fearing the alternative.  There's a lot of consoling, a lot of cuddling, and a lot of trying to communicate in English, French, or unofficial sign language / dancing / miming / facial expressions with someone who is clearly not from here and likes things done in a completely different way than makes sense to us.

It's utterly exhausting.  It's the best.

I leave you with this 1 month old preciousness...because it's the easiest to access right now in the crowded abyss that is my computer.