Sunday, February 15, 2015

How to Live With the Emotionally Unstable

1. Provide well planned projects, such as this one (though I'm not exactly sure what it is).  They can be simply accomplished by storing numerous unsecured items at low levels.

2. Take art classes as a form of therapy...because actually going to therapy requires too much talking for late night hours like 8:00pm.

3. By the fourth attempt to feed, the EU ("Emotionally Unstable," not to be confused with "European Union") should be very well ready for a more creative factor to his food presentation.  Sandwiches in animal shapes can become very predictable.

4. Connect with your like-mindedness with God and remember that He created man foreknowing he would fall.

5.  Yes, that's a meal time in front of the television.  It became more important that he get some food in him than how exactly that happened. Sometimes when a Nazi knocks on your door and you lie to protect the Jew you're hiding you have some higher moral priorities too, so hush.  Oh and yes - he's eating off the builder grade carpet.  See previous example about lying to a Nazi.

6. Provide plenty of animal experiences for the EU.  For example, catback riding has been shown to greatly aid those dealing with emotional instability.  However, beware there may be some cases in which the rider and the cat don't 'gel.'

7. Find a stable, committed man who can keep a cool head.

8. Ensure the EU has a steady supply of refined sugar.  If you get behind in this area, don't panic.  Do quickly and calmly find the nearest emergency shelter and take cover.  True Paleo living is learning how to flee.

  9. Enjoy the moments of joy that remind you of the fulfillment you had in bringing home the EU from the alien ship that landed in your backyard.  

10. Stay up until wee hours of the night preparing for a special 13.2 seconds of excitement for the EU for a holiday that isn't really supposed to be a big deal, so you think, making it a big deal is extra special so not making it a big deal isn't an option because the EU will take no prisoners!!  I mean takes prisoners!!

11. Admit that you are the EU.  Send the smaller EU to work on a ranch while you begin the recovery process.

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