October 15

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month saying, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them." (October15th.com)

Mr. President, I would call them bereaved.  And thank you for the recognition.  

But more than anything I fight to make sure my child is recognized.  As a child.  A baby. A full human being.  It's a shame I have to fight for that understanding in our culture.  

We never held Elijah with our arms, but I held him in my womb.  We never heard Elijah's voice, but we cherished the sound of his heart.  We are separated from him, but not for long.

Sometimes I wish for a picture better than an ultrasound to show people.  They'd see all the body parts formed and fleshy in color.  I think people just imagine blood and tissue when they picture him, and then it's easier to say goodbye, minimize, and forget.  But I know he looked like a very tiny baby.  Because he was.  A sweet, sweet little baby.